Guaro and the Seattle Empanada by Dean Belder

Ain’t no party like a Costa Rica Party.  There was much rum to be had this night in Seattle, the lovely Maggie was an exceptional host, and made delightful, bean stuffed empanadas, which, over-zealously I tried to consume fresh out of the oven, and my head melted.

Also in attendance were a couple bottles of a Costa Rican treat called Guaro. Like Rum it’s made from sugar cane, but the similarities end there. Guaro is the Central American equivalent to moonshine. Made from sugarcane, the government of Costa Rica legalized it’s production in an attempt to stop more shady operations. They’ve tried to bring it into the US, but it hasn’t gained any traction, of course theres a reason for that… it isn’t very good.

At sixty proof, it’s doesn’t seem the harbinger of doom it likely is, after trying one shot, I realized that there would be no hangover quite like a guaro hangover, so I stopped. To the producers credit they seemed to find the right balance of alcohol content to shitty flavour.  Too much alcohol and you’d be in danger of blindness, and too little it wouldn’t be worth getting past the taste.

I wish I could say the guaro enabled party devolved into a morally depraved bacchanal, or an orgy broke out in the makeshift pool room, or that I got into another rum fueled game of dungeons and dragons, but it didn’t happen. I was frightened away by the spirit of guaro, finding comfort in my little hot pockets of love….  I mean the empanadas people!!